Happy New Year!

If a ball drops in New York, but soldiers do not see it, does that mean the New Year will not come to Iraq? I keep asking soldiers what they are doing tonight and they all shrug, like what do you think I'll be doing? There is nothing to do. After all the celebrations for Christmas, soldiers are weary of trying to pretend that they can change the scene, that they can replace missing families with movies or barbeques, like alcohol, they only take the pain away for a bit.
I know I am tired of the ugliness here, the cramped quarters, the poverty outside these high walls, the endless terror out in the streets, the sound of generators roaring like immortal tigers trapped in your ears and the hum of helicopters over the roof as if they could just fall in your bed and rip you to shreds.
I spent the day interviewing soldiers about rock walls built and missions to hospitals outside the wire. I took a nap and now I am tired, I could care less about finding something to do, somewhere to go, sometimes the quiet times are best here. Sometimes the loneliness, like blankets that cover your head, is comforting, like a secret you won't ever be asked to tell.